[EAR]

(with apologies to Murphy) by Joe Butler.
A little comic relief. I found this in the old TCT archives and remembered it. Some good advice for would be trip leaders.

1. On any given river the prevailing wind will always be upstream.

2. A hidden rock will never remain hidden.

3.Law of Conservation of Filth: in order to get something clean, something else must get dirtier.
4. The current is always faster somewhere else, although nearby.

5.The distance remaining to the takeout is inversely proportional to the speed of the current. (and remaining daylight)

6. The take outs are steeper and muddier than the put ins.

7. The person who in the tent who snores will fall asleep first.

8. The time required to repair a piece of equipment is inversely proportional to the time it took to break it.

9. If only two rivers are worth running, they will both be up at the same
time.

10. The best camp food is the one that leaves the messiest pot. (see rule 3)

11. The most important item in the catalog will no longer available. the second most important will be backordered.

12. Law of Duffle Bags: Equipment required for the trip will expand to fill the space available for it in the canoe.

13. The rating number for a rapid will be lowered after a successful run.

14. The more carefully a trip is planned, the more likely something will get screwed up.

15. No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would. (and will let you know he knew)

16. The last Law: If nothing went wrong on the trip, you will discover that it ultimately would have been better if it had!